I AM A FAILURE
I am a failure. Yeah, I said it. Even before I started my adult life, I am a failure. I have failed in every aspect of a young person’s life: I failed in school, I didn’t get into any universities, I never won a tennis tournament, I was obese for my height and age, and when I wanted something the most, I still didn’t get it. All of these things suck...like a lot. At one point in my life, each of those things mattered the most to me and I never succeeded in the way I wanted to. Over time, I realized that all of these failures had one thing in common: Me. I was the person at the center of all my problems and I hated it. I doubted myself in every aspect of my life, and whenever I tried to work on myself, things would ALWAYS revert back to my shitty habits. I was so frustrated and I couldn’t figure out why I still felt sad despite the many attempts to be happy for the longest time. I knew I needed to change so many aspects of my life, but I felt so conflicted about where I wanted to start. After many sleepless nights, I knew I needed to change at least one thing; my perspective. I realized the only thing that can decide whether or not I’d be happy, was the same thing that caused all of my problems: Me.
Knowing I never succeeded in school, it’s crazy to think that a book is what truly changed my life. As I was completing 75Hard, one of my friends recommended that I read a book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The book went over four simple rules we should live by in our daily life:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Don’t Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best
The most important lesson I learned from reading the book was this; We make the conscious decision on how we want to live our daily lives, no matter what the circumstance. In other words, many things have an effect on how we feel that’s beyond our control, but the way we react to them is completely controllable and 100% on us. Whenever there is something that doesn’t go our way, we react negatively and that mentality will carry over into how we go about our day. A lot of people have asked me how I come into work so happy and with so much energy, and the answer is always bringing this positive mindset into work every single day. This mentality doesn’t come easy, but I make sure to put in the effort every day to be the light in someone’s dark, even my own.
Once I realized I control the way I live my life, I started to attack my insecurities and shortcomings head-on. I put in the work and effort every single day, and now I feel better about who I am and who I will become. It’s crazy to think, but the exact thing that is the problem is also the solution; it’s almost backwards to even say it out loud, but it’s true! Working to be happy and to have a positive attitude is hard work. It’s the pressure that creates diamonds. The work isn’t just waking up one day and telling yourself to be happy; it’s the persistence and consistency in telling yourself to put in the time and effort in pushing yourself towards the right direction. So keep pushing, keep your head high, and don’t let your foot off the gas. We all have lows and now you have one of the keys to get yourself out of them.