Where are my friends?
An Entry by Aidan Ramos & Gian Icatar
Life gets busy. Shit happens. We see our families and friends less, while at the same time, we have to sacrifice time with others for our own well-being. There are just some things you cannot control no matter the circumstances. So we ask you this, “Why can’t it be simple and easy like when we were younger?” The short answer to this question is life. We get so caught up in self-development, school, career, and new friendships, it’s so easy to drift away from our friends. As a result of this ultra focus, we often forget we have a whole army of people in our past that support us wholeheartedly and unconditionally.
Although it’s hard to see people, being busy is good. We're working, making new friends, and learning about ourselves. New and different opportunities pop up every day, but at least we’re growing. Right? Every now and then, we have to sit back and catch ourselves and ask, “Wow, it has been a minute since I’ve talked to my friend from high school.” Well, there is a simple solution to that. The good thing about today is we’re all connected through our phones. Texting, calling, or FaceTiming someone you haven’t seen in a while is a simple way to open up the dialogue. A simple, “Happy Birthday!” or “Hey *their name* It's been a minute! How are you?” Simple actions like this can mean a lot to you and your former homie.
What’s the worse that comes out of it? They don’t respond? Or they ask, ``Why are you texting me out of nowhere?” Their loss. If someone means something to you, they will respond. Just find someone you haven’t said hi to in a while. It starts with your family and friends. If you’re bold, you’ll just call them right off the bat. If not, just send the text. And if they’re busy or can’t pick up, so what? Again, their loss, not yours. At the end of the day, you can’t control another person’s actions but you can control yours.
Remember, being busy is good. Just because someone hasn’t reached out to you in a while, doesn’t mean they dislike you, that’s not it at all. They’re just as caught up with life as you are. Especially during this pandemic, communication and mental health are at the center stage of everyone’s mind. So we ask, why don’t you check in on your friends? Why don’t you shoot that text? Why don’t you make that call? You never know who needs you.
P.S. - A note from Aidan:
I haven’t seen Gian in-person for about a year and a half. But I always text him every while to see what he’s been up to. I know he’s busy, but we’ll always make time to check up on each other and share new things. Facetime calls and liking each other’s post is great, but seeing each other in person and actually doing something together just makes the whole experience that much better.
Icebreakers for opening conversations with people you haven’t spoken to in a while
“How's everything?”
“What’s new in your life?”
A mutual interest
You don’t always have to plan to hang out or get coffee. My personal favorite is texting people on their birthday. Everyone appreciates and is always willing to tell you what their plan is for that day. That's why I do that all the time. And personally, knowing there is at least one person who who’s thinking of me on my birthday, just makes the day that much better. Basic small talk to someone you haven’t seen in a while means a lot to a person. So just text that person !